Paying it Forward

Every night, for the past twenty years, I’ve written a gratitude journal. In it I list the blessings of that particular day – or my life in general; anything for which I’m appreciative. It can range from my husband being given the all-clear from cancer, to getting a book published, to having a flushing toilet and running water – depending on the circumstances of the moment. I’ve taken my journal on holiday with me, into hospital with me and even to Glastonbury Festival. (You can see where the appreciation of a flushing toilet might originate!)

I have a personal commitment to finding a minimum of five blessings each day – which might not sound like many but when things aren’t going so well, it can be a real stretch. At these times I find it’s even more important to focus on the things that are working in my life. When my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 lymphoma, when my daughter almost died miscarrying, when my granddaughter was being investigated for leukaemia, when we were told our home was subsiding, when close friends or family die…. When the dark days threaten to overwhelm me, I need to cling on to my blessings more than ever: to find the diamond in the coal pit.

Recently though, things have been going well. In fact, my coal pit has been positively sparkling with diamonds and my gratitude journal bulging with blessings.

Not least on my nightly list have been our friends who gave – yes, gave – us a holiday! I have been so blown away by their generosity that their names have been headlining my journal every day. I stopped trying to analyse what we’d done to deserve it – I can’t see any mileage in that: how can anyone possibly evaluate the gift of a holiday? I am however, a big believer in the `paying it forwards’ theory. This goes something along the lines of: if someone does you a good turn, instead of paying them back; you pay it forwards to other people – threefold.

In this way love, kindness and joy are spread throughout the world to the power of three. Imagine if everyone around the globe did this, what a wonderfully generous and loving planet we’d inhabit.

However, short of winning the Euromillions, I doubt if I’ll be buying holidays for three people any time soon. But, rest assured, I will be spreading the love in smaller ways to those I know – and those I don’t know – for some time to come.

And I will continue to write my nightly gratitude journal for as long as I can – a practice I can highly recommend if you want a good night’s sleep!