For One Day Only…

The original Reiki Ideals, as specified by Dr Mikao Usui, are described as:

The secret of inviting happiness. The miraculous medicine of all diseases.

This is something which is supposed to be recited by all Reiki practitioners every morning and again at night. And, thank goodness, they are ideals – something to be aimed for, rather than being a contract for life. They’re not written in concrete like the millstone of doom should you fail to adhere to them for as long as you both shall live. By saying them, you’re promising to do something for that day only. Then the next day and the one after that: one day at a time.

Flag irises by the lake.

The Reiki Ideals read;

  • Just for today:
  • Do not anger.
  • Do not worry.
  • Be filled with gratitude.
  • Devote yourself to work.
  • Be kind to people.

It’s a wonderful code to try to live by. I’m not entirely certain that, under the Consumer Rights Act (2015) Dr Usui wouldn’t be sued for his claim of miraculous medicine of all diseases, but the thing I probably like most about the Reiki Ideals is that they’re just for today.

And, it’s a good job they’re not a lifetime commitment because, today, I fell at the first hurdle. Before I’d even left the house, I got angry. Furious, even. I’m not going to go into details but I lost the plot. Big time. And then I fell at the second hurdle too: I started to worry because I’d got so angry: I was worried what getting angry might do to my health. And because I didn’t totally let go of number 1 and number 2, I’m struggling with number 3. And, somewhere in the midst of number 1, I suspect that I came a cropper on number 5 as well. Ooops!

Hedge parsley.

And that’s the problem: if we don’t deal with minor irritations when they are minor, they have a habit of snowballing into the sort of emotional avalanche that would start World War III.

But Dr Usui was a wise old bird who knew his psychology. He knew that to ask people to commit to a lifetime of `best behaviour’ was tantamount to condemning them to eternal self flagellation. And beating ourselves up never did anyone any good at all.

So, that was today. Not my best day, I’ll admit. But by writing this (which fulfils number 4 – devoting myself to work) I also managed to grasp number 3! I feel grateful that I have the skills to be able to process my anger and that this episode has given me a bit more understanding about myself.

So, in the words of Scarlett O’Hara: tomorrow is another day.

Bottoms up!

Paying it Forward

Every night, for the past twenty years, I’ve written a gratitude journal. In it I list the blessings of that particular day – or my life in general; anything for which I’m appreciative. It can range from my husband being given the all-clear from cancer, to getting a book published, to having a flushing toilet and running water – depending on the circumstances of the moment. I’ve taken my journal on holiday with me, into hospital with me and even to Glastonbury Festival. (You can see where the appreciation of a flushing toilet might originate!)

An excerpt from one of my gratitude journals.

I have a personal commitment to finding a minimum of five blessings each day – which might not sound like many but when things aren’t going so well, it can be a real stretch. At these times I find it’s even more important to focus on the things that are working in my life. When my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 lymphoma, when my daughter almost died miscarrying, when my granddaughter was being investigated for leukaemia, when we were told our home was subsiding, when close friends or family die…. When the dark days threaten to overwhelm me, I need to cling on to my blessings more than ever: to find the diamond in the coal pit.

Recently though, things have been going well. In fact, my coal pit has been positively sparkling with diamonds and my gratitude journal bulging with blessings.

Not least on my nightly list have been our friends who gave – yes, gave – us a holiday! I have been so blown away by their generosity that their names have been headlining my journal every day. I stopped trying to analyse what we’d done to deserve it – I can’t see any mileage in that: how can anyone possibly evaluate the gift of a holiday? I am however, a big believer in the `paying it forwards’ theory. This goes something along the lines of: if someone does you a good turn, instead of paying them back; you pay it forwards to other people – threefold.

In this way love, kindness and joy are spread throughout the world to the power of three. Imagine if everyone around the globe did this, what a wonderfully generous and loving planet we’d inhabit.

However, short of winning the Euromillions, I doubt if I’ll be buying holidays for three people any time soon. But, rest assured, I will be spreading the love in smaller ways to those I know – and those I don’t know – for some time to come.

And I will continue to write my nightly gratitude journal for as long as I can – a practice I can highly recommend if you want a good night’s sleep!

Beltane and the bigger picture

May 1st is an auspicious day in anyone’s book. It’s pagan name is Beltane and it’s the ancient Gaelic ceremony to celebrate the coming of summer. May Day is midway between the spring equinox and the summer solstice when the Earth’s energies are at their strongest. In Gaelic mythology, it symbolises the hand-fasting of Flora, Queen of the May with Jack O’ The Green bringing the earth fecundity and abundance. Beltane is a festival of fire to cleanse the old and herald the new: historically the beginning of summer – although astrologers and meteorologists will disagree on that! It is also, of course, International Workers’ Day!

A gaggle of newly hatched goslings yesterday.

But today I want to write about the little workers of the world: the insects and animals that make up the 99.99% of life on Earth. Yup – humans account for only 0.01%!

As if to prove the fecundity of Mother Nature, I saw my first gaggle of goslings yesterday morning. They were Greylag geese and there were five of them waddling along, scratching for food between their very proud and very protective parents. I find something wonderfully endearing about babies of whatever species, so I was saddened this morning to see that the five goslings were already down to four. I know it’s part of the cycle of life and I have no doubt that the little creature was a tasty appetiser for a hungry fox but I still felt sad and wondered how many of their little brood would be left by the summer? And, if not eaten by foxes, how many will succumb to death by plastic or choke on an aluminium ring pull? I see the birds pecking away at such discarded human objects almost daily.


Of course, as humans, we’re at the top of the food chain so, unless we live amidst a pride of big cats, we’re unlikely to be eaten by predators but we seem ambivalent to the plight of the millions of creatures that make up our own personal ecosystem. And when I say `we’ I mean the supermarkets, the politicians, fast food companies who are being perilously slow in changing their policies on plastic packaging and polystyrene burger boxes.

Save the dandelions – one of the best food sources for bees.

But it’s not good enough to blame the big companies: we must each take responsibility for ourselves and our own part in the environment. What a delight to see the Extinction Rebellion activist clearing up after their protest so that they left the area cleaner than when they arrived. And, if they can do it, so can each and every one of us do our bit: recycle as much as possible; buy only what is sustainable and think of the bigger picture. Earth will survive for millions of years without humans, but mere decades without insects and animals.

Swans in flight.

So, whether you celebrate May Day, International Workers’ Day or the hand-fasting of Jack and Flora, let’s focus on every tiny piece of the bigger picture and our part in it.

Massage, meditation and mindfulness.

Ne’re cast a clout till May be out! No, I’m not getting political – I’m talking about the old adage. May refers not to the month, as I used to think, but to the blossom on the may trees, or hawthorns. And, here it is, in abundance – may blossom in April. But what has happened to the temperature? Just as we’re all casting our clouts and donning our sun vests, shades and sandals after a scorching Easter, Nature throws us a curved ball and drops the temperature 10 degrees so that we’re back into our winter woollies.

Wild apple blossom at the weekend.

I enjoyed a fabulous time with my family over the bank holiday weekend but one thing in particular impressed me. At one point, as we sat out in the garden enjoying the sunshine, four of my grandchildren, aged between 4 – 10, began massaging the necks and shoulders of the adults. Apparently, at one of their schools, all the children start the day by massaging their classmates. Amazing – and to think some people pay for that.

A peacock butterfly that landed on the path by my feet.

I’m not talking about a deep tissue sports massage here, their touches were as light as feathers but the simple act of their hands gently moving over our shoulders was immensely relaxing and very bonding. Imagine having that connection with your schoolmates – or colleagues – every day. It’s hard to get angry with someone when you’ve spent the first fifteen minutes of the morning massaging their shoulders and they yours.

Morning massage is something that has been practised in Sweden, USA and Canada for many years and has resulted in children who fight less, settle down to work more quickly and are more focused in class. And, in controlled tests, the academic results of the children who massaged their classmates in the morning were better than those of the group who didn’t. In Balitmore, USA, detentions have now been abolished and replaced with mindfulness rooms where students can go and reflect on their thoughts and actions resulting in far fewer re-offenders.

And now, massage, along with meditation and mindfulness is being rolled out across 370 schools in England. Hurray!

Following the leader?

I was a teacher in both primary and secondary schools for almost 40 years. I specialised in children who had special needs and that often meant they had emotional and/or behavioural difficulties too. I found that one of the main reasons children became disruptive was because they found it difficult to know how to express their feelings. Maybe they didn’t understand what was being said to them; perhaps something was going on at home; or they could have been being bullied. Whatever the cause, they felt frustrated and frequently acted out their frustration in disobedience, swearing and even hitting. Not hitting me, thank goodness, but I knew teachers who were attacked by their students.

The magnificent bluebell woods just down the road.

Contrary to what some people believe – meditation isn’t about stopping our thoughts and feelings: it’s about being mindful of them and learning how to deal with them: settling that chattering mind of ours and going beyond the destructive thoughts and feelings to find inner peace. By teaching children how to become aware – or mindful – of their feelings we, as adults, can encourage them to express themselves in a more productive way than lashing out. Imagine a world where everyone began the day with meditation and that healing touch of massage.

In the words of my hero, Mahatma Ghandi:

 “If we are to teach real peace in this world…we shall have to begin with the children.”

And I am relieved and grateful that my grandchildren will be at the forefront of this peaceful revolution. It gives me hope for the next generation in this topsy-turvy world.

Staying on track.

Springtime blossom.

It’s estimated that, on a flight from London to New York, the plane is only on course for 3% of the time. That means that for the other 97% of the trip, the pilot is course correcting to get back on track. And yet, the vast majority of them reach their destination as planned. (Unless, of course, you happened to be on the recent flight to Dusseldorf that ended up in Edinburgh!)

And that’s a bit like life. We can have a goal we want to achieve and even make an action plan of the steps we need to get there, but life is never that straightforward. We need to be able to course correct if we want to end up at the destination we’d aimed for. The photo above is of a well trodden path that I used to walk or cycle on my way to the lake. It’s now impassible. The bushes have grown over so it’s impossible to get through without ending up with multiple gorse prickles – which can turn surprisingly nasty – septic even – if left untreated. Believe me: I know!

Sunshine on the lake makes it magical.

It was quite annoying at first when I realised I could no longer go along the path that I was used to. But I soon discovered other routes to the lake, even more picturesque ones. One took me by a smaller pond another, through a dark track under the trees on the very edge of the lake, and a third led me round the entire lake in the other direction. My goal had never altered but my route did – and I benefited from it. When one path closed: three others opened!

Herons in flight.

Throughout my life I’ve had many jobs but the one I’ve loved and found the most satisfying is being an author. I’ve written 12 books for teenagers and young adults. I write under a pen name and it’s a job I’ve always wanted to do – from my earliest childhood as I scribbled stories under the bedclothes when I was supposed to be asleep. For 23 years, I wrote: novels, children’s fiction, short stories, poems – you name it: I wrote it. And every single one got rejected.

Did I give up? No, I did not! I read what the publishers had to say about my work, took it on board and tried again. I course corrected – for 23 years – until I reached my goal. And, when the advance copy of my first novel arrived in the post, I wept with joy, made all the more sweet for the journey I’d been on to get there.

My first published book – 2001.

I wrote 12 books in 10 years and then my life fell apart. My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and my writing career didn’t just stop: it crashed into the buffers at full speed. I had neither the energy nor the creative juices to write. I even went back to teaching for several years. That was definitely NOT on my action plan of writing a best seller. But have I given up? Absolutely not! This is simply another course correction. It wasn’t what either of us wanted – or expected. It was a curved ball to end all curved balls. But my husband is in remission now and I’m hoping I can get back on track with my life.

I believe that nothing in life is ever wasted. So, who knows, I might even write a book about our experiences. In the meantime, I’m happy writing this blog. It’s one of the steps on my action plan to get back to full time writing. And, if I get knocked off course, I’m just going to get back up and try again. In the words of Chumbawamba: Ain’t never gonna keep me down!

Enjoy your spiritual holidays whatever your beliefs: Easter, Pesach, Vaisakhi or simply enjoy the springtime!